"To Write Honestly is a Talent"

Things I hate...

2010-12-18T00:21:00.000-08:00

#1 - Hypocrisy!!!
#2 - The Blame Game
#3 - Not Compromising
#4 - People Not Listening
#5 - Someone being a bad example to kids
#6 - When people try to justify their actions
#7 - When people assuming I'm lying
#8 - Redundancy
#9 - Pointless Talking
#10 - Country Music

POWERHouse...

2010-11-23T22:39:00.000-08:00

was definitely amazing.

i'm learning to accept myself for how i am. and that no matter what God loves me and will always be there for me.
He isnt mean. He doesnt get mad at me when i screw up. and even if you dont like me...He thinks i'm to die for.

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. ♥
- 2 Samuel 22:31

i feel better knowing that.
i've always known that.
but i understand it more now.

~~stupid human mind.~~

church isnt a place to put on a happy face.
you should be able to go hurt and broken and not be judged.
As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12

Hi, my name is Caetie, *group responds "Hi Caetie"*

i am hurt. broken. i'm extremely self conscious. i dont feel loved. and I need a hug.

a wee bit of me wednesday

2010-11-17T22:34:00.000-08:00

{one} what time do you normally wake up?uuum...11 something :/ but thats only because i sleep on and off all night. my sleep has been jacked. and i usually sleep through my alarm. {two} do you have a go-to song for karaoke?no karaoke for caetie :]
{three} if you could only see black and white except for one color, what color would you choose to see?BLUE! i have this thing with blue eyed guys and brown eyed girls. :) i dislike my blue eyes.
{four} what color best matches your personality?purple? idk. you tell me... {five} if you could choose one meal to cook better than anyone else, what would it be?rice krispie treats.

{six} how many keys do you have on your key ring?four or five? my car key. a house key. at least two maybe 3 van keys.
{seven} do you give your pets birthday/christmas gifts?YES!
{eight} when your plate has different foods on it, do you mix or not?only mexican food can be mixed :]
{nine} if you could hire someone to do one thing for you all the time, what would it be?nothing
{ten} when flying, do you prefer the window or aisle seat?well, i've never been on a plane. but i have been on a bus and it depends on who i'm sitting next to.

uh hum.

2010-11-14T18:57:00.001-08:00

i have something to say, i just havent had the time to say it.

give me a minute.

i feel obligated to post

2010-11-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

because i've noticed people keep checking back :)

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you know those people in your life that you just feel so blessed to know? :)
i love those people.

despite everything that happened....even with everything he went though... almost dying, losing his brother, his best friend... and much, much more.
youre still there. still at church. you havent turned your back on God...
if only you knew... i saw you at the front of the church singing
I believe Your my Healer. I believe You are all I need.
I believe Your my Portion. I believe You're more than enough for me.
Nothing is impossible for You. You hold My World in Your Hands.

if only you knew the impact youve had on me..

when things are going bad for me and i doubt God cares, I remember you.
despite everything that happened! youre still there....
you're a walking miracle and i am very thankful to have you in my life as a reminder that no matter what...He is all I need. He holds My World in His Hands <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i just made myself cry.. >:/

"It's my funeral and I'll laugh if I want to"

2010-11-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

so i just read a blog, Single Dad Laughing, http://www.danoah.com/. funny stuff. you should check it :]
anyway,
Dan blogged about how he would want to die..., how his funeral would go..., and what his personal hell would be like.

it was pretty entertaining and got me thinking...

just a few days ago i told mom if i got to choose,
i would die laughing.

not just your casual "ha! ha!" i'm mean,
Laughing so hard it hurts.
Laughing so hard you go silent..
Laughing so hard you choke on your spit...
Laughing so hard you cant breath....
Laughing so hard you drown in your own spit.....

yeah,
i want to be laughing so hard it hurts, i go silent, cant breath, choke on spit, and i cant call for help so i drown and die...
IN THE LIVING ROOM! (ironic, right?)
so yes, THAT is how i would want to die.

now, onto my funeral arrangements...

first, i want to be cremated. but dont tell anyone that until later....
i still want a casket though. put it in a private room and tell the kids they arent allowed to see me.
dont give them any reason why, i'm sure whatever they think up is better than any reason you could give them :P
but i would want a lookalike of me in the casket and when people walk up...wait until they start crying and have my lookalike sit up and scare the crap out of them!
like by opening [my] eyes, sitting up and touching whoever's shoulder [comfort, you know ;], or even....take a really deep breath when people are watching to leave them wondering.... :D
how awesome would that be!?

most people's normal reaction to that would be "i'm going to kill you!" but i'm already dead. so. they cant.

for my eulogizers, i [assuming she out lives me] would want my mother to speak. :P
i would also want all of my close friends and family to make those awkward dead jokes?
you know, like, "it's dead quiet in here.." or just "who died?" eh, you get the idea.
[stealing Dan's idea... i wouldve said it anyway!] i would want Ellen DeGeneres to speak as well.
she would get everyone laughing and dancing :)

THEN, at the end of the service, when everyone should be leaving for the burial.. of course they figured out i'm not dead, in the casket, you can tell them i want to be cremated.
so as everyone is leaving... play a song....something like, Celebration [kool and the gang] or whatever. :P

OH, dont put my body ashes into some fancy vase!!
Mom, read close.
I want them put in a Folgers Coffee Can. like in the movie Due Date. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPw7iHhP5zk&p=AD76A13647CE51E6&playnext=1&index=96 <--- waaatch it!
and they must forever be placed in the kitchen. ;P

now, onto my personal hell.....
i would be covered in sticky, maple syrup, and be forced to drink plain milk. all while sweating, running and being followed by an Oompa Loompa, singing whiny country songs, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
and you know, all the rest of the horrible things there are about hell.

but i dont intend on going there, so, its otay. :)

anyways..
if you could plan it how would YOU want to go?

will i or will i not?

2010-11-02T22:13:00.000-07:00

Monday Night:

1. finish 14 pages in English book. fail.

2. upload pictures to Photobucket. check. [AND i ran out of storage. lame.]

3. watch a movie? check. [Hide and Seek]

4. feel productive? eh.

5. SLEEP. sorta.

Tuesday:

1. wake up at 845. fail. [since i didnt sleep good i got up an hour later.]

2. shower. check.

3. clean kitchen and my room. 1/2 check

4 and 5. finish one English book. basketball practice. and finish 2 or 3 Algebra lessons. fail. cancelled. fail.
6. feel productive? nooope.

112. do not log back on Facebook or Twitter until sometime tomorrow night AFTER i finish school...........
take a guess......

maybe tomorrow will be better. hopefully :) probably. <3

i need to remember to pay $5 for the bonfire next friday.
super excited for Morgan's party saturday!

.......alright. i dont know who reads, who did read, or who even saw my status and knows.
but anyways, sorry if i bore you.
i feel i can get my thoughts better organized if i can write down what i'm thinking and what i need to do..
when i dont write about everything i feel like.....
like, i've forced myself into a little box and started having a seizure.

~20 minutes later~

okay, so.... i went to search Youtube to see if i could find a funny video of a cat, freaking out, trapped in a box...... now i'm stuck on a guy's channel watching him drum.

~15 minutes later~
and that, that is why i hate Youtube.

.

blah, whatever.

*disclaimer*
i did do English school work just not 28 pages
:P
AND i know i wont be able to sleep until later so i still have time. :)
IF i ever get off this guy's Youtube Channel...........

i'm happy

2010-10-30T20:12:00.001-07:00

and i havent been in a while....

:)

just dont feel like it....

2010-10-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

things have been crap lately.
havent slept.
no appetite.
anxious.
angry..
so yeah.
thats why you havent heard from me...

on the upside...my youth pastor totally called some kid a fag :] jokingly, of course. <3
i love my youth group. made my week.
and i was amazed to find out how many people actually knew my name!
that was definitely surprising :)

well........

2010-10-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

today SUCKED.

cant.contain.EXCITEMENT.!

2010-10-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

next friday. Rocktoberfest. be there.

the friday after that.. Morgan Turner's beast of a party!
[my first high school party. Lol. thats lame to say but i wont feel as lame for being the homeschool kid who doesnt get to attend things like that :P ]

the friday after that. Youth Group Bonfire. :) [its about time i do something with them. i'm the loser that never goes to any CYM function]

aaand the friday after THAT... POWERhouse with Debbie =) super excited about that!
a weekend back at camp to reunite with camp friends and learn some Jesus. :)

yaaay for not being at home on fridays!

new challenge.

2010-10-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

Learn to Speak up so I can have Healthy Relationships.
good goal, right?

pssh. thats easier said than done. at least for me anyways..
I'm always afraid if I speak up no one will like me.
*thinking of people i know that hate my guts*
*its eating me alive*

why do i let those people bother me so freakin much??

its amazing.........

2010-10-19T20:28:00.001-07:00

how your night can go from being so amazingly awesome to so incredibly horrible in just a few short seconds..

i feel sick.

i feel like.......

2010-10-18T20:31:00.000-07:00

like i just "came out of the closet" except i didnt. so, no. i'm not gay.
Lol

this has only been a secret for about 6 hours ;)

and, yes. this is my fourth post today.
i said i was inspired.

she's my brain...

2010-10-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

my friend, Morgan Turner, has a way of saying what i'm thinking. and i totally and completely love her for that!

tonight she said "Thank you for giving me the life I always begged God for. ♥"

so that is what i'm saying to YOU tonight.
Thank you for giving me the life I always begged God for. ♥

ugh.

2010-10-18T15:37:00.001-07:00

so in the ten minutes since i published that last post i'm already tired of this idea.

lame feeling taking over.............

yep, you read it right.

2010-10-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

i've got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
no, wait...
darn.

yeah. anyways.
dont be surprised if you come back in a few days and caetiepage.blogspot.com has been deleted.
this makes me feel lame.
i'm tired of keeping my inner thoughts bottled up. :D
Molly inspired me. ;)
but this isnt for me to vent. nooope. not at all.

i just.......idk. i read alot of blogs and i like it and i feel left out. Lol
dont make fun :]