so i just read a blog, Single Dad Laughing,
http://www.danoah.com/. funny stuff. you should check it :]
anyway,
Dan blogged about how he would want to die..., how his funeral would go..., and what his personal hell would be like.
it was pretty entertaining and got me thinking...
just a few days ago i told mom if i got to choose,
i would die laughing.
not just your casual "ha! ha!" i'm mean,
Laughing so hard it hurts.
Laughing so hard you go silent..
Laughing so hard you choke on your spit...
Laughing so hard you cant breath....
Laughing so hard you drown in your own spit.....
yeah,
i want to be laughing so hard it hurts, i go silent, cant breath, choke on spit, and i cant call for help so i drown and die...
IN THE LIVING ROOM! (ironic, right?)
so yes, THAT is how i would want to die.
now, onto my funeral arrangements...
first, i want to be cremated. but dont tell anyone that until later....
i still want a casket though. put it in a private room and tell the kids they arent allowed to see me.
dont give them any reason why, i'm sure whatever they think up is better than any reason you could give them :P
but i would want a lookalike of me in the casket and when people walk up...wait until they start crying and have my lookalike sit up and scare the crap out of them!
like by opening [my] eyes, sitting up and touching whoever's shoulder [comfort, you know ;], or even....take a really deep breath when people are watching to leave them wondering.... :D
how awesome would that be!?
most people's normal reaction to that would be "i'm going to kill you!" but i'm already dead. so. they cant.
for my
eulogizers, i [assuming she out lives me] would want my mother to speak. :P
i would also want all of my close friends and family to make those awkward dead jokes?
you know, like, "it's dead quiet in here.." or just "who died?" eh, you get the idea.
[stealing Dan's idea... i wouldve said it anyway!] i would want Ellen DeGeneres to speak as well.
she would get everyone laughing and dancing :)
THEN, at the end of the service, when everyone should be leaving for the burial.. of course they figured out i'm not dead, in the casket, you can tell them i want to be cremated.
so as everyone is leaving... play a song....something like, Celebration [kool and the gang] or whatever. :P
OH, dont put my body ashes into some fancy vase!!
Mom, read close.
I want them put in a Folgers Coffee Can. like in the movie Due Date.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPw7iHhP5zk&p=AD76A13647CE51E6&playnext=1&index=96 <--- waaatch it!
and they must forever be placed in the kitchen. ;P
now, onto my personal hell.....
i would be covered in sticky, maple syrup, and be forced to drink plain milk. all while sweating, running and being followed by an Oompa Loompa, singing whiny country songs, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
and you know, all the rest of the horrible things there are about hell.
but i dont intend on going there, so, its otay. :)
anyways..
if you could plan it how would YOU want to go?
